我找到了！

I Once Was Lost But Now Am Found

我生長在一個基督教家庭，偶爾上上教堂。我雖自小信神，但對祂和聖經上的真理，了解得不多。對我而言，神是天國寶座上嚴肅的君王，只要我行為良好，祂不會來干擾我，而我除非有要事，也必不會去麻煩祂。

I was born in a christian family and went to church occasionally.  I believed in God but knew very little of Him or truth in the Bible. To me, God was like a serious emperor enthroned in heaven.   As long as I behaved well, He would not bother me.  And I would not bother Him either, unless there was an emergency.

我還記得當我約莫九歲時’有一天坐在家門口的樓梯上，對人生的種種沈思了起來。我想起歷史上許多偉大的人物，當我把那些人一一數過時，驀然發現，那些人即使在他們的人生中有重大的成就，仍難免一死，無一倖免。他們就像在永恆的生命線上的一個小點，出現稍時就不見了•即使英雄，亦復如此，更遑論他人。想到這裡時，雖然當時陽光普照，我卻覺得一股涼意從我背脊升起，使我對生命的意義產生了極大的困惑。

I still remember one morning when I sat on the stairway in front my house and casually pondered on things of this life.  I was about nine years old.  In my pondering, I thought about many famous people in the history of mankind.   I counted them in my heart one by one.  Suddenly, I could not help but notice that even though they had made many and great achievements in their lives, they all passed away.  No exception.  Everyone died and diminished from this world.  Each one of them was like a tiny little dot on the infinite time line.  They appeared and disappeared, and had nothing to do with this world anymore.  Everything was short term, and nothing lasted forever.  If even heroes like them were so insignificant, not to mention all the others. While thinking, I felt a chill going through my back.  I became very puzzled at the true significance of my life.

我幼小的心靈陷入不安之中，然而卻找不到一個可以令我滿意的答案。最後我只好勉強說服自己，最好的解決方法就是努力讀書ˋ工作，成為一個有用、有名的人。那樣，即使有一天我的肉體死了，仍能名垂千谷，也不枉來世上一趟。

My little mind was busy sorting out the answer to this big question.   However, nothing satisfactory could be found.  Finally, I told myself that the only seemingly better solution was to study hard, work hard and become useful and famous in the world.  That way Even though my body had to die one day, my name would be remembered by many for a while.

這樣的一個決定鞭策著我在求學的路上不敢太鬆懈。十八歲時我順利地通過極具挑戰性的聯考，進入了一所好大學。上了大學之後，我致力於完成我九歲時的決定(要轟轟烈烈地過一生，作一個有用並留名的人。

With that kind of determination, I went on in my life.  That decision disciplined and supported me to survive the difficult college entrance examination in Taiwan and got into a good university.  Once getting into the university, I put in many efforts in order to actualize the decision made at the age of nine, that is, to become useful and famous.  Therefore, I studied diligently and became academically outstanding.

因此我非常用功，名列前茅，並且被選為班代表，負責計畫和組織許多系上的活動，也相當活躍於各種的課外活動中。大一時在學校年度運動比賽中亦有傑出的表現。人緣也不錯，深受教授和同學的愛戴。我的家境可謂中上，我是少數自己開車上學的學生之一。那時似乎生活中的每一部分都很順利。

I was elected to be the class representative responsible for planning and organization of all kinds of school activities.  I was also active in many extracurricular activities.  I even won prizes in the school's Annual Athletic Contest in my freshman year.  I enjoyed favor and love of many schoolmates and professors.  My family was financially well off.  I was one of the very few students that drove their own car to school.  Therefore, every aspect of my life was going very well.

有一天傍晚，在主持一項系上活動之後，我走在美麗的的校園中。那項活動很成功，但我內心卻覺得又空虛又疲倦。面對著燦爛的夕陽，心裡卻茫茫然。不知為什麼，我對所擁有的人生感到不滿足。一般大學生所夢想擁有的事物我都有了，然而我心深處卻自問：「如果這就是所謂成功的滋味，而且是我原本計劃窮畢生之力去追求的，真是何等的虛空！」「這不是我所要的！」「生命的意義到底是什麼？」我九歲時給自己的答案，已不能再愚弄我，我渴望找到真正永恆的事物，以給我的生命真實存在的意義。

One evening I was walking in the beautiful campus after finishing hosting an important class activity.  That class activity was successful, but I felt very empty and tired inside.  Beholding the magnificent sunset, I felt there was an empty spot in my heart and did not know what to do with it.  I was disappointed at the kind of life I had; however, I could not find out why I felt that way.  I had almost everything that a college student could ever dream of.  But what I saw was "If these so called 'successful accomplishments' are the kinds of things that I need to invest the rest of my life to pursue for, I really do want them." "I really do not know what is the true meaning of my life."  The answer that I gave myself at the age of nine could no longer fool me.  I had a strong desire to find something true and lasting that would give a reason for me being alive.

思想至此，我不自覺地仰頭對天說：「主啊！如果真有祢，我要認識祢！」這喃喃自語的禱告，神不但聽見了，並且視為一個迷途的孩子發自內心的呼求。

Before realizing what I was doing, I looked up in the sky and said: "Oh, Lord, if  You are real, I need to know You."  That murmuring was perceived by God as a prayer, moreover, a sincere cry from a lost child. 

這個禱告之後，我的生活起了重大的改變。半年內我家移民到美國，我們買了一個冰淇淋店，生意很差，因此媽媽、妹妹和我都得到店裡幫忙以節省開支。因為當時美金和台幣的匯率是1：40，使我們 財務的壓力陡然大增，金錢成了做每件事的首要考慮，這和以往我們衣食無憂的生活，真是有天壤之別。

Things changed rapidly after that prayer.  Within half a year, my family migrated to the U.S.  My family bought an ice cream store which had a very slow business.  Therefore, my mother, my sister and I ended up with working in the store in order to minimize overhead expenses.  Financial burden was tremendous on us because the U.S./New Taiwan Dollar conversion rate was as high as 1 to 40.  Money became a priority factor in everything we planned to do, contrary to the financially carefree life style we used to have.

更想不到的是，我的身體出了一點狀況必須動手術。同時我又必須準備考托福以便能進入州立大學繼續學業。當時州立大學入學標準是550分，而我不幸考了個 547分，這對我這個成績一向不錯的人而 言，實在是很大的挫折。一時之間，我生活中的每一方面都變得非常不順利。

In the mean time, my physical condition encountered a big surprise that I needed go through an operation.  Also, I had to study for TOFEL, an English examination, in order to be admitted into one of the state universities.  Unfortunately, the standard passing score was set at 550, whereas I scored 547.   For some like me that always performed well academically, it was not a small blow.  It seemed that every aspect of my life suddenly became very difficult. 

某個星期六晚上，很早就到美國進修的大姊打電話給我們，請我們第二天到教會聚會。一方面沒有別的事，一方面也想見到些中國人以慰思鄉之情，我們便接受她的邀請，然而我們卻不知道許多年來，她一直為我們禱告。

One Saturday evening, my oldest sister, who came to the U.S. for advanced study a few years earlier,  called us and invited us to go to a church meeting next day.  Considering there was nothing else to do, we accepted her invitation.  Yet, we had no idea that she had being praying for us for years.

我很清楚地記得那天早上發生的事。當我走進教堂，坐下來跟著聚會中的弟兄姊妹們一起唱詩歌時。忽然間我被一股溫暖所包圍，好像有人伸出兩隻膀臂擁抱著我，充滿了愛與溫暖。霎那間，眼淚流過我的雙頰，也溶化了我的心。我很困惑到底發生了什麼事，我拭去眼淚，看著所唱的歌詞，想要用悟性分析到底是什麼感動了我。然而我一點兒也不明白詩歌「美麗錫安我神聖城」中歌詞的意義。我看看身旁的母親和妹妹，她們也在流淚。不久，講員講到聖城錫安的屬靈意義。他說人皆有罪，但神愛罪人，並捨了他的獨生子來贖世人的罪。凡接受祂的救恩的罪人，不僅可以得著完全的赦免，不致滅亡，並且得著一個新的生命(一個永遠的生命。主在每個蒙恩罪人的一生中不斷地作工，主所作的每件事都有永遠的價值，並且成為美麗榮耀聖城錫安的一部分。

I remember vividly what happened that morning.  After walking into the Sanctuary, we sat down and sang hymns with the congregation.  Suddenly, while singing, I was surrounded by a warmth.  It felt like someone stretched out his arms and embraced me.  It was warm and full of love.  Tears streamed down my cheeks and melted my heart.  I was quite puzzled at what happened.  I wiped away my tears and tried to read the lyrics in the hymn I was singing.  However, I did not understand a word said in that hymn titled "Glorious Things of Thee Are Spoken".   I tried to analyze what touched my heart, but I had no clue.  I looked at my sister and mother who sat next to me.  They were in tears too.   Later on the speaker talked about Zion, the beautiful city of God.  He said that men had sinned against God, but God loved sinners and gave up His only son to pay for the price of sins.  All sinners that accepted His salvation would be forgiven and receive a new life, an eternal life.  Through the days of saved sinners' lives, God would work on them and help the new life to grow.  Every part that was done by God would have eternal value and would be kept in eternity.   All saved sinners would become part of that glorious and beautiful city which stands forever. 

雖然我自小就是基督徒，他所分享的事情對我卻是完全陌生的。我一面聽著他的話語，一面不停地流淚。我知道有件事情摸著了我的心，雖然我並不完全明白，但是我知道我已找到了能賦予我有限生命無限意義的事物。我這個因犯罪而受咒詛的生命，如今因著神兒子的救贖而換得一個永遠的生命。我在這有限的今生所過的日子，可以因主而與永遠發生關係，並且存到永遠，而非稍縱即逝。我心靈的空處被填滿了，這個迷失的孩子找到了她的家，天上的家。

What he shared was absolutely new to me, despite the fact that I was a christian almost all my life.  While I was listening, tears continuously filled my eyes.  Something touched my heart, and I knew it, but I did not understand it.  I just knew that I have found something that changed my finite life into an everlasting one.  The empty spot in my heart was filled up.  The child that got lost had found her home, the heavenly home.  

從那天起，我的心就被主所吸引。每星期我都迫不急待地要參加各種教會聚會，好和其他弟兄姊妹一起追求主，巴不得更認識祂和聖經中的真理。

Ever since that day, my heart was captured by my loving Lord.  Every week, I anxiously waited for various church meetings where I could pursue the Lord together with other brothers and sisters.  I longed to know Him more and learn the truth in the Bible. 

漸漸的藉著外面的環境，主教導我認識一件很重要的事，那就是「即使我擁有世上所有的事物卻沒有祂，我永遠會覺得失落不滿足；但是當我尋著祂之後，即便失去所有屬地的祝福，我的心卻不再覺得空虛。」因此祂允許我起初愚昧地追求地上的成功，在擁有了許多之後，我才了解那些事並不能滿足我的心，也不能解答我對生命的意義的疑問。當我覺得茫然無助而求告於祂之後，主帶我離開安適平順的生活，把我放在困難的環境中，但是卻把最寶貴的東西(祂自己(賜給我，向我證明祂就是我人生的意義，遠勝其它一切事物。當受造者尋找到造他的主時，那種滿足與喜樂真是不可言喻！

Gradually, God taught me one import thing, that is, I will never be satisfied if owning everything in this world but Him.  On the contrary, I will be fully content even if He is the only thing I have in this world.  Therefore, He allowed me to pursue after things of this world, such as success and fame, so that I would know that those things really were not answers to my question regarding life.  After I asked for His help, the Lord took me out of the comfortable and smooth life, and put me in a situation where everything went wrong.  However, He gave me the most precious thing, Himself, so that He could prove to me that He is the meaning of my life.  It has been proven true ever since.  What a great satisfaction when the created found the Creator!

在我遇見主的幾個月後，我的外在環境仍很困難，但我所擁有的平安，卻是無法被奪去的。等我領悟了主所要教導我的寶貴功課之後，祂非常奇妙地拿走我當時環境中所有的困難。首先，祂引領我到州立大學和負責入學申請的主管會談，他重新審核我的申請案件，結果破例地錄取我。其次，祂幫我們將當時最重的擔子冰淇淋店賣掉，並且搬到離教會很近的城市居住。第三，我的身體恢復了健康。第四，也是最主要的，我的家人遇見了主，並與祂建立了親密的關係。

During the first few months after I met with the Lord, my external circumstance remained difficult, but I experienced a true peace and content that nothing could take away.  After I learned the precious lesson the Lord taught me, He miraculously took away all the difficulties in my life.  First, He guided me to the state university to talk to the highest ranking officer overseeing admission who accepted me as an exception.  Second, He helped my family to sell the ice cream store, our greatest burden, and moved to a city close to our church.  Third, my physical health was back to normal.  Fourth and the most, our family met with the Lord and established a personal relationship with Him.

我們是否從此過著幸福快樂的日子？是的！，因為生命之船的船長已上了船，雖然風浪時起，但祂在掌權並不斷地向我們的心說平安，直到安全地登上榮耀的彼岸！

Do we live happily ever after?  Yes!  Because the Captain of the ship of our lives is now on board, even though waves and storms remain, He is in control and continuously speaks peace to our hearts!

梁殷宗宣姊妹

Michelle Liang